Mental Blabberings

I was so moved today by the prospect of a passion project that I took some time on a Friday night to get it done. Let me present the #RedJeans project over at redjeans.org . I've found myself wanting to work on a project that came purely from the heart and one that was very dear to me, something that is personal, and connects with a larger community of people in the world. The idea for redjeans.org came to me as a hint when I was writing up my reflection for 2018. I realised that I didn't spend quite as much time identifying with and working with a community. I did a bit of soul-searching and found that one of the activities I really enjoyed and cherished in years past is donating blood -- and I keep wondering why not more people do it. It was an idle thought but then a conversation with someone where I described why I wrote down "donate blood more often" in 2019 became an idea where instead of just me doing it, how about if I get my friends to do it too ? I left...

So earlier in the year I resolved to write about something on a weekly basis. Unfortunately I have failed that particular resolution. I thought I would have been able to write about something once a week -- that I would be able to get time to write about something interesting to me for any given week. Unfortunately it's not the time that's the problem: it's the motivation. I have found that more and more I did not need to write about what I thought more now that I think and read more than I need to express myself. I have found that in the past two months I had little need to share my thoughts about the world. However though now I find myself writing about not writing which is a little bit of an oxymoron. Let me share with you a few reasons why.

Drenched after running in the rain! So I went out running today and had my personal distance best! 7 kilometers around Ashfield, and I'm really happy that I'm able to get past the 5km mark. I've been running exactly 5km or less recently and today I made a decision to just keep running until I felt like I wanted to stop. This was a pretty special run for me because it was the first time I've ever run in the rain! I've changed things up a bit too and started listening to music on the run (courtesy of Rdio which is now available in Australia!) which made it a lot more pleasant than my previous runs.

Running Man. Photo by Nigel Homer . So being the person that I am who doesn't just give up without a fight, I decided to try running again. After a bout of developing tendonitis on my right patellar tendon and my right achilles tendon (and having a weird clicking noise from my right ankle when I turn it a certain way) and five visits to my physiotherapist, I was determined to try something new with the way I run. This time I'm taking it slow but also I'm now running with my bare essentials. Yes folks, I tried running with just my bare feet. In this post I reflect on what the experience was like and what I've learned about myself and potentially how my body works. I know what you might be thinking: what the heck was I thinking running barefoot, am I crazy?! I may very well be crazy but that's beside the point. Let's get this out of the way: I have a reason. Actually I have two reasons. First reason is that I wanted to see whether there's some truth t...

After 20 something years of trying to put off having to run, I'm giving running a shot. Heck, I'm diving head-first into running. My personal goal is making myself able to run 5 kilometers in the morning before going to work. Whether I'll do it on a daily basis is up for debate (mostly between me and myself). Aside from that goal is to actually be able to drop two full inches from my waist (or require myself to actually need to buy new jeans and shirts. Most of all, the more important reason is my family.

After a good swim and a lot of things going through my mind, I've confirmed it. If you have a problem you can't solve right away then leave it alone for a while -- it may resolve itself on its own. Of course, that's barring any urgent requirements. I'd like to write/talk more about it, but I'd rather sleep this one through. I'm just giving this blog some love. CHill.

I know it's really hard to deal with headaches. But I've always asked myself, why headaches hurt. I'm not a doctor, but watching enough Grey's anatomy has led me to believe that the brain doesn't really feel "pain". That's the reason why open brain surgery can be done while the person is awake. However, the nerves that do feel pain are in the skin, and the immediate area around the brain just near the bone. So now I ask, why do headaches hurt? Why is there pain inside the head when we don't have nerves there that should feel the pain? Like I said, I'm not a doctor. But I do have a headache -- and it's really painful right now. I think they call it a migraine. I just call it pain.

I just had my impacted wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Now my face is swollen, and I hope the swelling stops soon. It's not painful though, so I thank God for that. CHill!

Today I got up pretty late. I've just had lunch and it's been a while since I've had a good meal for lunch. I weighed myself as well today, and I'm now 193 lbs! Compare that to 205 lbs a couple weeks back, and I'd say I'm in pretty good shape. Thirty three pounds to go and I'm within the safe weight range. Another fifteen pounds after that and I'd say I'll be in very good shape. This isn't so bad, the diet is definitely growing on me. Until tomorrow!

So I'm back in the office now. It's not a joke this job that I do... It's not a joke by a long shot. So when there are meetings, conversations, things to do, and other issues that need to be resolved the last thing I want to think about it eating. But then when you're in a metropolitan city where all the conveniences of the modern life -- and modern food -- are at an arm's reach, how can I avoid thinking about food? The answer is I don't. I think about it like I ought to think about it: what I can eat and what I ought not to eat. I can talk about it and I can think about it but I stick to the food that I should eat. I get it from friends and work mates: "So what *can* you eat?". The answer is simple: only those that's good for me. That means low sodium, low fat, high fiber, low/no sugar, virtually no cholesterol, all good natural food. And that's not just because I'm on a diet to lose weight, that's also so that I can stay a bit longer ...

Each day gets better. Not only does my love for my girlfriend grow stronger every day, the chest pain I've been feeling for the past week is starting to go away. Today is the first day I feel that I can do anything and move about without the chest pain bothering me. When I woke up this morning (pretty late) it felt different. I wasn't feeling any discomfort in my chest anymore -- or at least it's not like it used to be. Now I'm enjoying this day like I used to enjoy everyday with virtually no pain in my chest. I also had a very nice IM conversation with my love -- who also commented on my first day post -- and all I can say is that my day is going very well. I hope the coming days are more like this day, and that the road to reversing diabetes and hypertension would be as nice as this day. If there's something that I need to get through which will take more out of me than anything else I've ever done is saying "no" to a lot of the food that I used to e...

It's Sunday -- Family Day -- and my uncle, aunts, and cousin are here in the province to visit my grandmother. I always loved family day because it gives me a chance to get back in touch with family. Topic of the day is my diet and my illnesses. It's no secret that our family is very open with each other and that I'm very thankful that our family sticks together through thick and thin. I feel definitely lucky that I was born into this family even though almost everyone's got health problems among other problems in life. One of my aunts also has heart ailments/abnormalities and she's now 50+ years old. We have the same congenital heart disease (mitral valve prolapse), hypertension, and high cholesterol levels. But she's very strong and has the brightest outlook in life. I definitely admire her and look up to her as far as being strong and sticking through it goes. I'd like to live up to 50 or even more (my grandpa lived up to 72, and was strong for most of th...

So I'm diabetic and hypertensive... It used to be so easy to decide what I'll eat and how much -- it used to be anything I thought of, and as much as I can have . Today is different: I've got to follow the diet else risk worsening the situation I'm in. I'm taking five different medicines: one for diabetes, one for hypertension, one for fixing my digestive tract functions, one for the ulcers, one for the esophagus' wounds. I take some before meals, some before breakfast, some after meals. Figuring out the schedule takes time and I think I'm going to get the hang of it after a few days or after a week. This is just another challenge which I hope I can overcome soon. I just have to make it part of my routine -- drink meds before eating, eat what's allowable, drink meds after eating. I should get some exercise into the mix as well but not too much since I have Mitral Valve Prolapse . Given that I need to lose weight to keep the diabetes under control and to ...

How do you live with a disease and let your loved ones see your suffering? If you're single (like me) how do you convince your girlfriend that spending the rest of her life with you will be worth it? How do you make it all better when you yourself are degenerating by the day? These are very tough questions that require two answers. First answer would be: in a relationship, it's not all your burden to bear . Second answer would be: you shape up and do your best to be the best person you can be for yourself and the relationship . Having spent close to one week in a hospital for chest and nape pain gave me a glimpse into what the troubles people in relationships where one person is suffering face. Only this time I'm the suffering one and my girlfriend can only be there and watch. Not only was I suffering from the pain of my condition, but I also felt the pain of seeing my love suffer every time I squint and writhe in pain. Trust me, unless you're really screwed up in the b...

So I'm down with the cough and I feel the sniffles coming along. Lots of things happening during the weekend, the O&B peeps having a party, the guys at Friendster wanting to do a night out, and the meeting with the best friend and high school editor in chief slash friend on Saturday. It's just sad that I might not be able to make it to any of these things lined up especially since my situation is not improving. The doctor recommended me a set of meds to take, and I got to stick to it -- 1,300 Php for medicines to be had for three days, they damned better work. Aside from all this, it just feels so good to be loved. CHill.

Today in Manila, it rained. It's not even mid-May and we've got the rain coming. I know, people get all sorts of problems with health when the weather changes. More people develop sniffles because of the change in the temperature (slightest changes in temperature mean a big deal, why I have no idea). If there's one thing to be thankful for, is that I realized that the weather will always change -- and that's a reminder that in life, the only constant is change. I can't articulate it yet, but I do think that the weather and how our body reacts to it is very interesting. Does wonders to the mind. CHill!

I've recently been going to the gym, and I must say my body is sore. I'm feeling pain in places I never thought I had in my body -- or that I've taken for granted. Glutes, Hamstrings, Quads, Triceps, Biceps, Lats, and Abs. They all hurt one time or another, but I'm still determined to look the best I can before the summer. I'm not doing this for vanity's sake, I'm doing this for my health -- and the benefits of looking better as well. :D I shall document progress accordingly. CHill...