Mental Blabberings

This weekend I had the chance to do a Google+ hangout with my father in the Philippines. He and I don't talk often but we do have a very good relationship. My dad is cool like that. In this hangout we talked about a few things happening in the Philippines and I've gotten the feeling that my homeland is getting ever deeper into economic disrepair, and that the politics to which I've come to be hopeless on is beyond repair. I've wanted to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for a while now, so if you would indulge me please read on. Background I grew up in a part of the Philippines where the land is fertile, there are thriving industries, and there's a certain sense of abundance and stability. This part of the Philippines has good schools, good employment opportunities (mostly industrial and service industries), good investment opportunities (real-estate and agricultural), and good potential for growth. This was true when I was young and this i...

Broken Glass by akeg Don't get me started on so called technology publications. I think they're mostly bully pulpits to the influential unethically promoting self interests in the guise of "freedom of speech" and tabloids for the insider baseball in the most nebulous industry in the world. I'll reserve my ranting about certain technology writers to a forum where I can be myself and not have to worry about comment moderation. I'll keep my thoughts on certain celebrities who I feel do not deserve the attention they get. I'll hold my tongue on certain fanboys trying hardest to conceal their stripes like a zebra in the middle of an empty savannah. What instead I will write about is the need for real journalism.

... trying to get up that great big deal of hope -- for a destination. Or so the song goes. Yeah, growing older seems to always be some kind of a deal. But this is the first time I'm actually not celebrating it in any fashion similar to what I have done in past birthdays. Later today, I'm going to be spending a day with my girlfriend -- and I'm going to try that for a change. If all else fails I might hold a party of some sort some day. It definitely is not going to be today though. Happy birthday to me. CHill.

So I've always wanted to write since the last time I did. Now however, I don't feel like writing anymore. I'll find my groove again some time I hope.

Electile dysfunction, FIRST PERSON By Alex Magno - Tuesday, January 22, 2008 : Most remarkable is what we might call a phenomenon of inverse effect: the more some politicians attempt to convince us that they are the ones who will save this nation, the lower they rate in the public opinion polls. The harder they try, the deeper they sink. “Electile dysfunction” appears to be affecting more Filipinos that we might be prepared to admit, what with all the contrived media stories about old horses preparing to run the 2010 race. I know of several meetings being held the past few weeks among concerned individuals, groups and networks seeking to uncover a path to a new mode of electoral politics: one that begins from genuine popular movements and responsive to grassroots expectations. I'm not normally a political blogger, but I'd like to think it's time we change the way politics works here in the Philippines. There should be a better way of choosing leaders short of changing the ...

My girlfriend's phone is dead and she's in her province. I'm here in my province and I can't reach her because my phone batteries are close to dying now too. Yesterday traffic was insane and it caused us (the family) at least six hours yesterday in total waiting for traffic to move. I'm not in the mood for blogging right now which should show. I miss my baby so bad. Until tomorrow.

So I'm down with the cough and I feel the sniffles coming along. Lots of things happening during the weekend, the O&B peeps having a party, the guys at Friendster wanting to do a night out, and the meeting with the best friend and high school editor in chief slash friend on Saturday. It's just sad that I might not be able to make it to any of these things lined up especially since my situation is not improving. The doctor recommended me a set of meds to take, and I got to stick to it -- 1,300 Php for medicines to be had for three days, they damned better work. Aside from all this, it just feels so good to be loved. CHill.

You find a distraction. For some people that's work. For some people that's a movie alone. For some people there's a hobby, a vice, a routine. You need something which would change your current mood. For me, that's talking to people dear to me, connecting with friends, and just stopping whatever I'm doing to "smell the roses" and be able to connect. Right now I'm going through the usual "month before my birthday" blues, when I look at my life and see myself no better than I was the year before. I see how far I've gone, how much I've improved, and how much I still have to go through. I see how my life has gone and whether I like what I currently am. This year, I'm sad. I'm sad not because I haven't met my targets -- but that I've met them and exceeded them, that I'm sad I don't give myself enough credit for what I'm worth. I'm sad that I actually underestimate myself most of the time. Though I feel like ...

This is another reflection post, so if you don't like reading these kinds of posts, please stop reading now. Consider yourself warned. So we've turned 109 years as a nation of false hopes and broken dreams -- of walking wannabe's and has been never were. We've reduced our independence into something we celebrate once a year and completely forget every other day. Can you really call the Philippines independent? We can't even produce enough food to sustain our population. We can't even produce enough graduates of quality to fill the jobs we create. We can't even keep the people who can help change the Philippines in the country. We can't even elect a decent set of leaders to lead the country. We can't even be truly competitive in the global economy. We can't even begin to realize our true potentials. We can't even create our own identity. We can't even unite to be truly independent. We can't even stand on our own feet to become the coun...

Are Filipino's really proud of their heritage? How about the circumstances of the Filipino people? How about the color of the skin, the shape of the face, the length and width of the noses? How about the Language(s)? For some reason I find a lot of Filipino's patronizing (even using) foreign languages in normal everyday situations. I'm guilty, I am more comfortable (not necessarily better) at writing English than Tagalog (Yes, my language is Tagalog, not the bastardized notion of a single language called Filipino that never was really the only language Filipinos know nor use). Although I admit that I write English a lot, the reason is being that I write more stuff on the Web than in any other medium -- and I want people who read and understand English to be able to read what I write: which is basically Filipino's and any other English speaking nation out there. But when you meet me in the Philippines, you can talk to me in Tagalog (note again, I really mean Tagalog) and...

Get through this. Please. CHill.

I just came back from a very well deserved vacation -- days where I didn't have to think about work, and just went along with whatever was going on and relaxed. I needed that break badly, to let me go ahead and get away from the daily grind. Although I actually do love what I'm doing at Friendster, it's been a while since I've been able to get away from work and live life to the fullest -- even just for a few days. Malaysia was a very refreshing place to be in because of the food, the people, and the vision of prosperity that I just hope the Philippines will be able to reach someday. Kuala Lumpur is beautiful in its simplicity in the midst of complexity, in unity amidst the diversity, and in progress amidst tradition. What is very surprising are the roads: expansive, well maintained, and very well used. The only other time I was impressed by the roadwork was when I was in the US for the first time, on long drives on what seemed like endless roads, highways, bridges, exi...

Usually the tough fight it out with the going. It's when the pressure is high and the deadline is near that the tough people suck it up and put their arses on the line. Then you'll know who's tough: when you stand by what you've done and take responsibility for your actions -- and deal with the consequences that arrive. This is true for relationships, for careers, in projects, and especially in teams where people tend to rally around either one person or rely on one another to pull through and tough it out. I just hope this phase gets done so that I can go back to doing what I really love and not have to worry about group dynamics... CHill...

things were a lot more simple. No bills to worry about, no deadlines to beat, no nothing except you and maybe a couple of friends chilling out. Now chilling out means taking a break from the hectic hustle and bustle of everyday living in the city and just sitting on a couch in front of the TV and waiting for food delivered to my door. It's not meant to be a good time, it's just meant to be a break from what happens everyday. Good thing I have great friends whom I know I can count on when the going gets tough. But today, I'm taking a break alone. CHill.

I stayed up until 2 AM today before hitting the sack (or more like tossing and turning in the bed) because since bug hunting season was open I had been faced with a certain challenge a simple fix could not remedy. Because of this, I'm not 100% right now, and might not be able to perform productively. It's never a good idea to stay up late and try to fix things but it's an ordeal developers usually have to go through -- and almost always for the wrong reasons. Trying things left and right and seeing each trial fail can be called an "exercise in futility" but I look at it in a different view: every failed approach lets you know how *not* to do it in the future. Life lessons learned should be life lessons shared. CHill! (quite literally, here in San Francisco)

I've recently been going to the gym, and I must say my body is sore. I'm feeling pain in places I never thought I had in my body -- or that I've taken for granted. Glutes, Hamstrings, Quads, Triceps, Biceps, Lats, and Abs. They all hurt one time or another, but I'm still determined to look the best I can before the summer. I'm not doing this for vanity's sake, I'm doing this for my health -- and the benefits of looking better as well. :D I shall document progress accordingly. CHill...

I've recently felt really distracted and out of the rhythm in work, in life, in sleep... However, I've just recently confirmed that it's as simple as turning the damned TV off. Now I'll get some sleep. CHill! I'll write more about the spending thingy, but I'd just like to summarize it with: what a disaster. More on this later.

This PCIJ article about the Philippines no longer being a "Third World Country" and is now a "Second World Country" according to the President is indeed interesting. I know the economy is steadily growing and that income per capita is higher than three years go. However, I don't see how that makes the Philippines "Second World" or better yet "better than before". We all know that in the Philppines, there is the top 10% (or even less) which makes in insane amount of money. Much like in other capitalist countries (and some socialist like Singapore). The majority of the middle class (comprising around 30-40%) pay the most taxes yet don't get the decent government services that they (_we_) deserve. The rest though, are living below the "acceptable level of living" or what they want to call the "poverty line". Let's do a little math: 10% -- Higher Class :: The Taipans, Tycoons, Moguls, and Big Boss Men/Women 40% -- Mid...