Mental Blabberings

bliss a few days ago, i was part of a team which won 3rd place at the wireless challenge held at the westin philippine plaza. now, i am modestly 50,000 pesos richer. and aside from that, i'm one year older (last July 27). and politically, im beginning to think that the philippine government needs an overhaul. but then that's just me. something noteworthy though is a little story which i would like to tell about me, and a certain lady i love. to cut the long story short, apparently i really don't mean anything to her at all, and that i could might as well die and she wouldn't care a tad bit about me. oh well, but then that's life. and there are a lot of women that deserve my love aside from her -- it's just that i've been to busy making her love me instead of learning to love other people. and as i get older and a bit wiser, im still going to be the person that i am. and as far as i'm concerned, i'm just gonna live my life and be happy doin...

emotion perception, emotion, ideas, and life. they all mix well together -- shaken not stirred as how James Bond would like to have it. however the normal geeky person like me would prefer a little of each and every thing not related to what I actually like doing. i'm talking about the dynamics involved in dating, life, friends, and things like plays and poems. however, i also tend to believe that life is meant to be lived as well as not put to waste. and aside from wanting to do a lot of things and a few things that i have to do, i think life is full of things that you put in it. i believe that my life is what i make it, and by some predefined and discreetly and non-obvious plan which is beyond my comprehension, is meant to go somwhow this way. this doesn't affirm any religious theories that have been fed to me by my past scholarly experiences, however this is something that people have more or less come up with in relation to trying to explain things that is beyond the...

burned out had dinner with a girl i admire monday, tuesday was a 7-7 day, and now i'm puffed out. tired, exhausted, what have you... i know i could go on and have fun still, but im dead tired right now to do something really stupid or even productive -- to do anything for that matter. i know i've still got to go on and live, but im so darn tired that i can't even think straight. maybe a few more hours in bed should help. anyway, im absent for the whole day, and somewhat detached from my friends. perhaps a day isn't too much to ask for myself. tryin' to chill...

im on a high i'm on a high! i just got a new mobile phone (+639198720686), qualified for a contest, and just went out with a lady i admire. anyway, i really had a nice week, and just now a nice day. hope this gets me into something positive. :) should start making myself better, for i have found renewed vigor and reason to go on. :) still chillin'... :)

Bashing... it's a nice feeling when you hack at things... but then it's generally not nice to bash at anything -- especially if it's your head. bashing here, is used in the sense that you would be beating yourself (or a certain part of your body, or another person's body, or intellect, etc.) to a pulp just to get things out. more like torture, but torture is sometimes correlated to things done to you that you don't like. but in my case, i'm just bashing my head in for a lot of things. and when i say a lot, i mean a lot. it's hard to keep up with one's life especially if everything around you seems to not want to cooperate. i have 20 units enrolled this semester, and as early as now i feel the wear and tear that it's been causing me. and considering that the semester is just a few weeks old, i'm already feeling the effects of it. now i have to remind myself all over again that this is all for me, unlike then when everything was seemingly...

journal for the past few days (week, to be exact) i have been juggling around my schedule and seeing how in the world i'll be able to put up with such a hectic pace, when you need to think, act, move, live, and love at the same time. i know of the saying regarding doing things one at a time, but apparently it doesn't work. i've been too preoccupied to even try and keep this habit of writing to my blog regular, but then i really have to, since this is one of the best things i've ever done for myself. i have a class, which requires me to actually have a journal, and fortunately i already have this blog. my teacher then let me submit the URL of my 'journal' as a replacement for a paper/pen/pencil journal. and for the past week, i've been huffing, and puffing, and wanting to blow my house to where i actually spend time, so that i wouldn't wast so much time on the commute. the week ahead, is a week when hopefully things normalize, and turn for th...

swirl everything is in a swirl, and everything seems to get along with everything else, except me. it's like everything's passing me by, and i don't know why. it somehow feels like everything's meant to happen, but im not part of it. this kind of feeling is the one that tends to get me into depression and utter disconuity. but now i've learned to focus my efforts and learn from my surroundings. now, i just have to learn -- again. and what i learned before is to get into a new world, escape and start from scratch like a new person. and this is what i plan to do. i hope this works out for me. :) chill...