Mental Blabberings

I've not been writing for a long time already but this time I can't keep this to myself. There's been too much happening to me and my family the past few days that I need an outlet. I've tried talking it out, being silent, and crying it out. Right now though I'm numb. I don't know whether I can keep this to myself and if I do I don't think it will be a good thing. Maybe other people have had the same experience or at least gone through the same thing. Maybe just the act of writing this out is going to be enough to make me feel something. There was a time in my life that I had thought I've been through everything. I thought everything that can happen to me would be something I can deal with. There was no doubt in my mind that I can handle anything. Unfortunately this latest one that happened to me and my wife wasn't something I was prepared for. Nor was I ready to deal with it in a manner that was controlled or well-thought out. I thought maybe if I...

When I was younger in life I wanted to achieve more. I had a list of things I wanted to be able to do. I also had a list of places I wanted to go. People I wanted to meet. Foods I wanted to eat. Today though, as I near my 29th birthday I find myself not wanting more -- instead I'm wanting less. I no longer feel this need to achieve things that I thought were important. A lot of things in my life now seem more important than the achievements, the places to go, food to eat, and experiences to tick off my list. Instead I find myself now wanting to enjoy what I have more than getting more. At this point in my life, I look back at who I was and I realize that the person I wanted to be wasn't really the person I'd like to become. I used to think that if I made more money, or lived in a certain place, or lived a certain kind of lifestyle, that I would be happier and more fulfilled. Instead now I'm happier just spending time with my daughter, sleeping in on a Sunday, not putt...

I'm anxious to see my lovely wife and daughter again soon. I miss them so much. The Reasons I do what I do.

I used to think that life would not be as much fun if there weren't a lot of things going on. I felt that there was this need to fill every hour or every minute with something. I always felt the need to always have something to do. Now I've changed my mind and cherish the simplicity of many things and sometimes, nothingness. It's so liberating to feel no pressure to always be doing something. It's also very liberating to be able to enjoy life in a natural pace. It also means I can enjoy life more and focus on the things that matter.

I'm a big fan of Jeff Jarvis and I just read this amazing single. He makes the case that Johannes Gutenberg is the prototypical startup geek -- the model for a technology entrepreneur. It's not a long read, it's a few thousand pages long, but it's also just $0.99 from the Kindle Store. It's less than what you'll pay for to get a full-blown paper but you'll get a very well-written and compelling article (maybe a chapter for a book, or a foreword, or an editorial). If you have a dollar to spare (who doesn't?) please go get this and read it through your Kindle or even through the cloud reader. If you find his writing enjoyable to read, I also suggest his other books: Im currently reading "Public Parts" and although I already kinda do live in public, I still find very compelling and intriguing ideas in this book. I've also already read "What Would Google Do?" and I dare say that he's done a very good job of analyzing the i...

So earlier in the year I resolved to write about something on a weekly basis. Unfortunately I have failed that particular resolution. I thought I would have been able to write about something once a week -- that I would be able to get time to write about something interesting to me for any given week. Unfortunately it's not the time that's the problem: it's the motivation. I have found that more and more I did not need to write about what I thought more now that I think and read more than I need to express myself. I have found that in the past two months I had little need to share my thoughts about the world. However though now I find myself writing about not writing which is a little bit of an oxymoron. Let me share with you a few reasons why.

It's just been a couple of days since the end of the ISO C++ Committee meeting held at Kona, Big Island, Hawai'i. I have quite a numer of experiences with so many people from different parts of the world who have been using and influencing the direction of the C++ programming language for a long time already. Meeting some of my heroes is definitely a memorable experience -- and it happening in Hawai'i the first time I've ever gone there makes it doubly unforgettable. Going there I never thought I would have a chance to have an informal meeting with the creator of C++ (Bjarne Stroustrup) and even share some surreal experiences with him and a few other members of the C++ committee. It involved belly dancers and the beer that never came -- like someone in the group said, it was a surreal experience. I can't possibly write about every detail but I can share a few things I picked up: Kona is awesome. C++ is alive, well, and growing. There are exciting things...