Skip to main content
broken biological clock

a lot of things can scew your life up. especially if you dedicate your time to some purpose, and then after giving it your all, and the purpose has been met (or you suddenly lose interest in the purpose), you tend to realize that hey, you dont have anything left to do.

giving your all in an activity that you previously enjhoyed is very rewarding -- at first. then you tend to seek that activity because for the most part, it gave you some sort of direction, purpose, goal... i'm a very busy person, because i choose to be busy. i dont ask for the work, i take on the work. i dont ask for the challenges, i take them. i dont ask for the pain, i just take it.

having to stop what you like doing is very painful for me. to me, that is the worst sacrifice anybody should have to give. doing something that you dont want to do is plain stupid, but sometimes is necessary -- which more often than not we have nothing we can do about. obligation doesn't include the concept of pleasure, and being obligated to do something means that you generally do not want to do it -- but have to because you have to. but doing what you please wouldn't be obligatoryt, but to me is voluntary.

lucky are the people who gain in doing what they are pleased to do, and kudos to those who excel in doing so. but no such luck has befallen me, and all i gain from doing what pleases me is sheer satisfaction -- and no compensation nor gratitude from the benefactor.

i admit, i'm bitter -- but i can't help it, coz i'm obligated to be.

have a nice one...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Help wanted: writing resources

I'm currently fleshing out a fantasy setting for a series of short stories rattling in my head that I'd like to get out into the world. However, it's the first time I'm even trying to do this, so I need your help: are there any good resources for world-building and writing guides that have been helpful in your projects? So far I've been really enamoured by Brandon Sanderson's world building and Patrick Rothfuss' storytelling. I suspect those two are at the pinnacle of the trade and I'm probably not going to do myself any favours by trying to live up to what they're doing, but I'd still like to give it the good college try. Are there any resources (forums, books, guides, blogs, or courses) that I should be taking if I want to do a decent first take at this? This is probably better as an email to friends and maybe some random folks (or maybe even a tweet) but why not a blog as well?
Post a Comment
Read more

Reconnecting with people

2021 started with a a good sense of connection for me, having spent time with friends and family in a simple celebration of the oncoming year. The transition from 2020 to 2021 and being able to look back at a good part of my recent history got me thinking about how life has been for me and the family for the past decade. There’ve been a lot of people that I’ve met and become friends with while there are those that I’ve left behind and lost touch with. There’s a saying about treating old friends different from new ones, which I do appreciate now that I’m a bit older. It also means that my relationships with people that I get to spend a good amount of time with take a different shape. This reflection has given me some time and space to think about what it means to reconnect with people. Friends are the family we choose ourselves. — Edna Buchman I have the privilege of having life-long friends that I don’t always stay in regular contact with. From my perspective, if I consider you a frien...
Post a Comment
Read more

Grief and Mourning

I've not been writing for a long time already but this time I can't keep this to myself. There's been too much happening to me and my family the past few days that I need an outlet. I've tried talking it out, being silent, and crying it out. Right now though I'm numb. I don't know whether I can keep this to myself and if I do I don't think it will be a good thing. Maybe other people have had the same experience or at least gone through the same thing. Maybe just the act of writing this out is going to be enough to make me feel something. There was a time in my life that I had thought I've been through everything. I thought everything that can happen to me would be something I can deal with. There was no doubt in my mind that I can handle anything. Unfortunately this latest one that happened to me and my wife wasn't something I was prepared for. Nor was I ready to deal with it in a manner that was controlled or well-thought out. I thought maybe if I...
8 comments
Read more